Funny Freaky Friday!
Friday the 13th doesn't have to be a bad thing! Even though currently our weather is pretty terrible, our forecast is pretty terrible, and things in the world are a bit wonky we still need to laugh. So I'm briefly going to summarize our forecast then get into something that should help put a smile on your face. Current weather is cloudy with scattered showers. Wind is blowing 4 MPH offshore from the Northeast. WF-WRF is calling for single digit numbers all day with a itty bitty tiny jump to double digits late in the afternoon. Not much kite action in the water today, but on the blog we are just about to get started!
I want to introduce you all to my friend Chip "The Rip" Ripperson. He's a washed up ex professional kiteboarder from the 80s/90s, or whenever he tells you he used to ride. When he was on his game he was living life in the fast lane! Sending the biggest kite loops, but not standing up on the board...that was for p*$$y$. No, Chip pioneered the art of the kneeboard kiteboarding. Anything the other riders could do Chip could do it better on his knees. This sent him to the top with his unique style. Winning countless events such as King of the Air, Triple S, The PKRA world tour you name it, Chip won it. Of course all this success gave Chip fame and notoriety. He was rubbing shoulders with the biggest stars. You would often see him hitting studio 54 with his buddies Rick James and Eddie Murphy! He was living up top with the greats getting everything he wanted. Women came easy, but the drugs came free. He surpassed any rock stars wildest dreams of drug tolerance. Chip would take a 5 day nap after smoking crack, then crush a big air event with all the energy in the world on heroin. It was almost impossible for him to get the high he wanted. Always chasing the dragon, but one day he found his ultimate vice. When Chip became addicted to the glue on envelops, his life came crashing down. You would find him outside post office's asking mailmen if he could fellate them for junk mail envelopes. Just when it seemed like he hit rock bottom he got caught up in some terrible stuff with OJ Simpson. Chip was locked up for accessory to murder for 5 long years. In prison Chip had to come to terms with his addictions and life of debauchery. With the help of Morgan Freeman narrating his prison experience Chip found redemption in that old prison they call Shawshank. Upon his release he wanted to tell his story. He wanted to help others in the world who may be at risk for throwing all their talents out the window like he did. So Chip came to me and my brother in law Carter Thomas about 4 years ago. As long time friends we had a lot of footage of Chip from over the years both good and bad. We set up a camera and interviewed Chip and his other closest friends to tell his story. We are still working on the final product, but we were able to piece together a trailer of his documentary, and I'm happy to share that trailer with you today. Ladies and gentlemen I give you Chip Ripperson, Behind the Lines. Enjoy and happy kiting everyone.
3/13/2020 11:34:57 am
Ron the Mailman
3/13/2020 11:48:13 am
I got some junk mail for you brother.
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